In life, the ebbs and flows are expected to come and go. Expectations of continual heightened spiritual awareness without dips into stagnation are not the norm.
Having experienced a season of elevated studies with goals set by academia I am now experiencing an interesting and troubling phenomenon — no direction.
While I have no real concern for the vocational calling God has for me, I do have concerns:
–How do I move from the years of mostly scholarly study back into a more devotional study?
–How do I move the Bible back into a perspective of God speaking to me instead of classroom textbook?
–What does a diploma on the wall really represent if I sense the distance between God and myself has increased instead of decreased?
–Will I ever get the excitement and energy back from when I first heard God’s vocational (1997) and salvation (1991) calls in my life?
These are the questions that haunt me.
Give ear to my words, O LORD, Consider my groaning. Heed the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God, For to You I pray.